Sentence Crimes

I've been thinking a lot lately (I can hear you when you snicker), with all the loverly good contests & all, about the rules. Opening sentences, opening paragraphs, first pages; I think that pretty well sums up the nightmares of late. So, as promised, 3 more gems of wisdom from the pages of Clark.

(Misdemeanor) Passive/Aggressive is NOT a Bad Thing - Clark states, "use passive verbs to showcase the 'victim' of action." The active verbs tell us who does what; while the passive verbs tell us who is on the receiving end.

Ex: Jodi ran every other Tuesday. (I sense a theme!)

Ex: It is a known fact that a woman in want of tennis shoes must be in search of a run.

(Felony) Adverb Abuse is Criminal - Adverbs are to verbs as icing is to cakes. (I think I just channeled the SAT; ugh.) The point, an adverb should be used to contradict the verb - not to repeat it. Twisting it up is key.

Ex: Jodi ran quickly.

Ex: Jodi ran ploddingly.

(Capital) The ING of Death - Too many -ings spoil the sentence & the paragraph. Control is required along with the well-placed zing of -ing to create the writer flourish.

Ex: Jodi was running, jumping and hopping through the puddles of her day.

Ex: Jodi ran, jumped and hopped through the puddles of her day.

Ah, the lament of sentence structure leading to life sentences for the writer. Again, my poor sentences do not do the advice justice. But hey, artistic license & all (shrug). And remember, if ya can't do the time, don't commit the sentence crime.

Happy Writing,

Patti

Building Blocks

This week I am covering Roy Peter Clark's Writing Tools. Today, I want to look at some sentence structure basics that impact pace, meaning & connotation.

Subject/Verb Dichotomy - First the noun, then the action. What follows is the subordinate clause to create a "right-branching sentence."

Ex: Jodi ran, her heart pounded in her veins as she threw branches from her path.

The action is in the first two words; what follows comprises what the writer wants the reader to feel about the 'run'.

Ex: Jodi ran in measured steps to the beat of a song pulsing in her ears and to her feet as they glanced the pavement.

Alignment & Emphasis - Clark suggests the placement of strong elements at the beginning & the end with the weaker bits sprinkled in the middle.

Ex: Jodi ran, her heart palpitated as she mounted the steps & entered her son's school.

Yep, her little heart is a-racin', but placing the emphasis on the son & his school at the end brings new meaning, urgency & level of feeling. The action sets the tone; the ending stretches the tension. The middle gives the connective information that helps the reader identify with Jodi's emotional state.

Activation - Active verbs = action performed by subject. 

Passive verbs = the action happening to the subject. 

Connective verb = a form of to be.

Ex: Jodi ran.

Ex: The grocery cart ran into Jodi.

Ex: That grocery cart will hit Jodi if she doesn't get off her phone in time.

Sheesh, poor Jodi ran a marathon of emotional & other crises. I do freely admit that these sentences leave chunks to be desired, but I hope, ** (fingers crossed), that I got the meaning across the ether. 

Happy Writing,

Patti

Evolution of Character

This week each of the kiddos has a paper due. The boy is writing a paper on the evolution of Telemachas through the first 4 books of the Odyssey. The girl had to review, summarize & provide insight on a short story. And, she redeemed herself from last week's debacle by choosing the one I wrote for a competition.

Last night, after boy finished his rough draft, I quizzed him about his paper. You have to know that spelling is his bane. I was concerned. I asked all of the mom/once-upon-a-time English major questions; "Is it a 5 paragraph essay," "What's the word count?" The usual. Then I asked him to explain his supporting evidence & this is what I learned.

"We had to pick people who had the most profound effect on changing Telemachas from a boy to a man."

"How many did you choose?" I asked. This is a valid question considering his desire to complete the minimum & no more.

"Five," he said.

"Tell me about them."

I have to say right now, I was impressed & quite surprised by the answer. My little 15yo boy decided that the Greek world did not elevate women & as a result he focused the bulk of his paper on the influences of both Athena & Helen of Troy. What?? In his estimation, these two females did the most to educate Telemachas & build him into the man he became. His evolution stood in direct complement to the womanly influences thrust upon him. Uh, did I say I was impressed?

To the girl. She thrust her evenly spaced,  freshly typed, one-page summation into my hands. "Read it, I want you to read it."

"Okay." And then I read it.

In one sheet, she discussed the evolution of the two MCs & she actually discussed things that are only implied rather than told. She picked out the underlying concepts that shaded the entire tale. I was impressed & my pride got a tickle. She got it; she totally got it!

I passed it to hubs & he read it. He finished, looked over at me & said, "Wow, she really read it. It shows." Now we were both impressed.

What does this have to do with writing? Character evolution is subjective & secretive known only to the writer until it is shoved out the front door to meet its first day of criticism. You kiss it on the cheek, provide a protective snuggle & promise that all is well in its little world. No matter where your MCs are in their evolution, they look to us, their creators, for reinforcement & safety. They struggle as we struggle. It is a symbiotic relationship that will one day find its way out of the nest.

Questions: Do you view character evolution from a parent/child perspective or some other? At what point do you feel they no longer need you? How do you shield them from criticism?

Happy Writing,

Patti

Thinkin' Thursday - Paraprosdokian Sentences

My husband forwarded me an email he had received because he thought I would dig it. And, he was absolutely right. First off, a word I had never heard of. Then and explanation & some examples. So, on this installment of Thinkin' Thursday, I thought I would share.

What the heck is a paraprosdokian? According to the Uncyclopedia, he was a Greek hero - with a really bad name & an affinity for the girls. But, I digress, according to Wordnik, it is a figure of speech where the end of the phrase is surprising & unexpected. And that's where we come in.

Here are some examples:

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.


A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

So here in lies the challenge. What paraprosdokian sentences can you come up with?

Happy Writing,

Patti