Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Ghosts, hell hounds, Freddy Kruger; they're all in there. I would pull the blankets over my head, turn on my side; my heart would beat so furiously, one would swear Cerberus & a thousand other minions crowded into my room bent on ripping me to shreds.
Jerk me awake, scare me stiff fear crashes over & robs me off coherent thought. And, it is at this moment that the lights come on. I can't sleep unless I am showered by illumination distilling the dark corners & bathing the entire room in goodness. My feet don't hit the floor; my ears shoot to wolf precision. It's sad sometimes when I think about it. I'll be 42 in a few months & yet I still flip the switch when the demons come to call.
When we first got together, my husband didn't understand it. But, after a few times of blood-curling, hair-stiffening screams in the night, it didn't seem to bother him as much. Now, he doesn't even comment on the lights, except to ask after the craziness living in my head & make sure I am alright.
Last night was no different. Ghosts this time, cornered me under a blanket in the middle of the floor. They invaded my soul, tortured me across the center of some weird little apartment complex. No one answered my screams & then no sound escaped my lungs. All I could think was that I needed to pass out, get out. My body half-lunged from the mattress trying to reach the light switch. And then it was over.
I've often wondered how to incorporate this little quirk of mine into a character. I'm thinking I could spin it to the portentous & supernatural. Try to turn it into something fun/helpful rather than terrifying. What about you guys. Have you ever considered or actually written your own idiosyncracies into a character? If you did, did you find it therapeutic or too exposing?